Page 8 HIGH GEAR August 1980

PICNIC

Sunday, Sept. 21, 1980,

Plan Now To Be There!

Tickets now on sale

The Gay Life Style

By Tom Villella Dear Tom:

* I'm 24, engaged to a nice but very social young girl who is unaware of my preferred lifestyle. So many preparations have gone forward for the "society" wedding, plus both familles have already decided my vocation... and the firm for which I will work. The job is a handsome one, and our families couldn't be happier with the coming wedding. My fiance is unaware of my gay orientation. Should I tell her? My parents? Or, since things have moved so fast, go along with the wedding and hope for the best? Roger B.

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September 14

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September 21

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September 28

10:30 p.m.

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Dear Roger B:

Unless yours is a shotgun wedding, why have you waited so long to inform your fiance that your interests are gay? And are you kidding? Call off the wedding at once. It is grossly unfair of you NOT to tell your intended BEFORE you run up the aisle. Use any excuse you want to call it off, at least until you resolve the "should-I-tell-everybody" about the gay bit. There will be howling from both families, buckets of tears from your intended, and general head-banging, handwringing dramatics by all concerned. That is preferable to Starting out married life with a lie Get the gay bit out in the open. NOW! Better before marraige than after. If you don't believe that, read the next letter.

Dear Tom:

and hard before you break up your family. If you feel the need to come clean..then tell your wife, and then the kids. But make it a clean, honest break, The kids may hate you for a while, but

they'll come 'round. If you make the break, understand that it is for yourself... noy the 20-yearold. The important facts here are your sexuality, and your willingness to start out, at this late date. on another road. Dear Tom:

I'm 17, in my last year of high school, and becoming increasingly concerned that my school friends will find out I'm gay. I've thought of discussing the matter with my guidance counselor, but he's the supermacho type, and I changed my mind right quick. Buddies are always teasing me. about my shyness with girls, but they don't know the real reason. Sometimes I want to tell them the truth, but I've heard from their own mouths what they think of gays. I'm not happy having no one to relate to. Should I tell them and be done with it? And my parents? Help!

Dear Jim:

Jim O.

This is a legitimate letter. For 25 years, I have suppressed my gayness, and done the right things: Marriage, children, worked hard at my own business, and did whatever was wanted of me by my family. At 49, I now find that, through a casual friend, I Parents first. If you have the. have met a student of 20... and slightest doubt that your parents. we have really got on together. won't be able to deal with the fact Frankly, I'm ready to chuck all that you're gay, then I say forget the family responsibilities for this it for the present. Maybe later. young fellow. Time is moving on, but allow them their sensitivities. and I'm no getting younger.. now. About your friends, it has there must be something in this been my experience that teenaglife for ME. In divorce court, will ers can be extremely cruel to lose all that I've built up over the each other. Telling your friends years? Will my children hate me? that you're gay may result in a Julius T. quick exit of friends. College students are more understand ing about the gay life. but high school kids? No You may well be inviting psychological as well as physical abuse. Stop fretting about nobody to talk to call Gay Hotline, they will put you in touch with some gay rap groups...621. 3380 Buck up kid you're not

Dear Julius

Man, I don't give legal advice. If you are concerned about property settlements child support see your lawyer Or better yet, it you can find one, a gay lawyer About leaving your family for the 20-year-old. I say cool it Be realistic Unless the kid has some gigantic father complex you may be just a meal ticket for him. or someone who is successful and can do things for him. If you are talking about kicking over the traces, you don't need H:M for an excuse. You may convince your self that he is worth a drastic change in your life, but think long

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Dear Tom:

I'm Roman Catholic, and have a hard time dealing with the church's condemnation of my gay lifestyle. I have gone to the Metropolitan Gay Church, but the service leaves me cold. Oh, the general comradeship is wonderful, but I don't feel that I've REALLY worshipped. Is there an answer?

Bob M. (Continued on Page 11)'

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